The Situation in Hell

The following is supposedly an actual question given
on a University of Washington chemistry mid-term.
The answer by one student was so "profound" that
the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet,
which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure
of enjoying it as well.

Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat)
or endothermic (absorbs heat)?

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using
Boyle's Law
(gas cools when it expands and heats when it is
compressed) or some variant.

One student, however, wrote the following:

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is
changing in time. So
we need to know the rate at which souls are moving
into Hell and the
rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can
safely assume
that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave.
Therefore, no souls
are leaving.

As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look
at the different religions that exist in the world today.
Most of these religions state that if you are not a member
of their religion, you will go to Hell.

Since there is more than one of these religions and
since people do not belong to more than one religion,
we can project that all souls go to Hell.

With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect
the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially.
Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell
because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature
and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume
of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.

This gives two possibilities:
1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate
at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure
in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.

2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase
of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will
drop until Hell freezes over.

So which is it?

If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during
my Freshman year that, "it will be a cold day in Hell before
I go out with you", and take into account the fact that I went
out with her last night, then number 2 must be true, and thus
I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over.

The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over,
it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is
therefore, extinct . . . leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the
existence of a divine being which explains why, last night,
Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God."

THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY "A."